Photo Comparer Gifts

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Office pics on dinner table.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

Farmer using a photo editing program

Royal Pic Photoshop

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

'These photos are ruined... Not one of us has red-eye!'

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

'Oh well, there's always Photoshop!'

Photographs of Neville gave gals an itch they found difficult to scratch.

"How come you're always checking the mirrors at home, but never once in the car?!"

Badly Drawn. Please Photoshop.

"The smile is courtesy of Photoshop."

You have any baby pictures, Randy? I'm just wondering what you looked like before all those muscles. HOJ. Indeed I do, little buddy. In fact, they were professionally taken. By Sears? By Muscle & Fitness Magazine. I was the centerfold in their infants and toddlers edition. Figures.

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

'Someday your prints will come.'

'This is the worst red-light district I've ever been in!'

'Don't worry about those craters. Photoshop can take care of them."

"No, don't worry about it, it definitely looks better on you."

Man stranded on desert island writes 'Submit your caption' in the sand.

"No offense, but you look better in Photoshop."