Phonetics Professor Pillows

Phonetic Man

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

The best PE teacher in the World.

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

Intellectual Property

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

' Once again, the name is Perry, with a P, as in pterodactyl.'

'Benjamin Franklin - the awful truth...'

'You like my fancy dress? - I'm not wearing fancy dress.'

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

'Cheer up, you may be last in gym, but you're first in mental arithmetic...'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

"Studying friction is a real drag."

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Antonin Scalia

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Holder Ooopsie