Phonetics Professor Pillows

Phonetic Man

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

The best PE teacher in the World.

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

Intellectual Property

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

' Once again, the name is Perry, with a P, as in pterodactyl.'

'Benjamin Franklin - the awful truth...'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Studying friction is a real drag."

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

'You like my fancy dress? - I'm not wearing fancy dress.'

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

'Cheer up, you may be last in gym, but you're first in mental arithmetic...'

Antonin Scalia

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass