Phone-tapping Fitness Buff Gifts

City Marathon.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Speed reader...?"

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Your health insurance only kicks in when you can run 100m in under 10 seconds."

'We once used this to exercise, but now it's a conversation piece.'

'Like it'll do any good.'

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

home fitness/fatness

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

'Harold always finds a way to do things lying down.'

'Sex, drugs, rock and roll and running.'

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

'... This is a jogging path and I clocked you at a dead run...'

If life is a journey, mine is on a treadmill.

'Don't be afraid to crowd the plate.'

"My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's a an ad about junk food."

'He's put on over two stone watching the Olympics...'

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

Jogger gets passed by running stroller.

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."

"This year, I resolve to stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight and get physically fit."

Weight Index Scale

Water. Energy bars. Check ur phone.