Phone Funster Gifts

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"You have to have a sense of humour to work here."

Income Tax Return

Person playing the cymbals.

"Okay, I'll wear a tie."

"Work is all fun and games. We play Follow the Leader, Kick the Can, ending with The Blame Game."

NASA Mission Control Room & Out of Control Room

"Research shows that the festive season can trigger depression in some people."

"I don't care how much you saved. This is the LAST time we fly on vacation with a budget airline!"

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

'Hello, is that over-eaters anonymous?'

'My new year's resolution was to delegate more...So I delegated managing massively increased demands with drastically reduced resources in a flat-lining economy to George.'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about the future?'

"Clean up on isle 1."

'Wait, we have to go back! - I forgot my air guitar!'

'Have I lived here all my life? Not yet!'

'If you've got a complaint, please press 1. If we can help you to find something to complain about, please press 2.'

"I know it was you. I have collie ID."

'It's not much of a present, is it?'

'Woof woof.' - 'I thought it was against company policy to have animals in the office.'

Passport Controls

'It's nice to know a girl can still stop traffic.'