Phone Call Champion T-Shirts

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

Thank goodness you finally picked up. I was on hold for so long I was afraid I was about to lose my vestigial tail.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Cold caller.

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

Collar I.D.

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.