Phone Bill Ponderer Gifts

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

Progress?

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

CREEPY AF AI

'It seems like a good invention now, but someday there'll be millions of these things, all crashing into each other.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'You have to admire the way Hartley overcame his honesty and integrity to get to the top.'

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

"I want my job back."

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

"My biggest fear is being judged fairly by history."

'It didn't make sense until I conferred with your financial planner.'

'And remember - happiness can't buy you money.'

"The universe will either continue expanding at its present rate, expand at a slower rate, or begin to contract. None of this, however, can explain why it sometimes takes four days to get a letter from Chicago."

"You know damn well that E-on wrote to us months ago, and what did you do? Precisely nothing!"

A Chinese person pushes a yin and yang symbol up a hill.

"What's tough is having to build a new power base from scratch."

How to tell that the plumber you hired learned his trade in 'the land down under'.

Every man is innocent until proven broke.

The virtual vanity mirror.

The Master Switch