Phobia-focused Humorist Gifts

Superhero with Acrophobia

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

Dentist Trip

Food chain.

Safe harbour

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Dinosaur scared of a mouse.

On the planet Clowny, they are afraid of us.

Missile attending a 'Fear of flying course'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

Pre-minstrel Tension.

A Pat on the Back: $1.00

Man in tuxedo afraid to fire his gun.

"I hired out a double for this bit."

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

'You don't have any problems that can't be resolved with a lot of patience, understanding, perseverance and 60 thousan dollars.'

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

'He was a very claustrophobic person.'

"This is the smallest website I've ever seen. Which is ironic, because it's a site about claustrophobia."

Danger

"Have you tried putting your fingers in your ears and closing your eyes and going, 'La la la la la?'"

Walter always hated touching washroom doors. Now that he was dead, he no longer had to.

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."