Philosophical Partner Pillows

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Skeptic Tank.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

"The meaning of life at a glance"

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

"Sorry Peter, but you're just not evolving quickly enough."

'It was a lot easier to keep an eye on things before the bang. Everything was all in one place then.'

Respected cartoon couple, Elmo and Merle Blinkwhistle, take a little time out each day to gather their thoughts.

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

'I pursued the ol' M-R-S degree, with a concentration in all of his shortcomings.'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

'What is worse: The fear of having a bad time. . . or the fear of having a good time?'

'Well, so much for the 'no new commandments' pledge!'

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

'Relax, I just wanted to know if you wanted to break for lunch.'

Hells singles

"Alright, I'll admit it. I never have cleansed my palate of Charlene."

People who ghosted me

Cartesian Chopped Liver

'Diogenes - I'm appointing you to form an ethics committee.'