Philosophical Partner Pillows

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Skeptic Tank.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

I told you the King wasn't ready for irony!

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"The meaning of life at a glance"

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

I can't believe I fell for the old "would you like to come to my place and see my etchings?" line. How old is that line, anyway? The last time it was used successfully was by Albrecht Dürer in 1495.

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'It was a lot easier to keep an eye on things before the bang. Everything was all in one place then.'

"Sorry Peter, but you're just not evolving quickly enough."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

Respected cartoon couple, Elmo and Merle Blinkwhistle, take a little time out each day to gather their thoughts.

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

'Well, so much for the 'no new commandments' pledge!'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

'I pursued the ol' M-R-S degree, with a concentration in all of his shortcomings.'

'What is worse: The fear of having a bad time. . . or the fear of having a good time?'

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

'Relax, I just wanted to know if you wanted to break for lunch.'

Hells singles

People who ghosted me

Cartesian Chopped Liver