Philosopher Of Aging T-Shirts

Life's toughest decision-when to start middle age.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"It's a coming of old age story."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Balding Autumn Tree.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Mall of ages

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

"You've hit the age where your broad mind and narrow waist are turning into your narrow mind and broad waist."

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

"The senior moments don't freak me out as much as the 'Death in Venice' moments."

A long way towards retirement...

"Sometimes, on a day like this, I can just catch the faintest smell of youth."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'Edward turned on the bathroom light only to find his father staring back at him.'

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."