Philomath Pretender T-Shirts

"I read that girls go for smart guys."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Math Jokes

The geometry of everyday life

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Sartre's E-Mail

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

Hexagon.

Hillary's New Math

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

'I sit here and solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze architectral possibilities...but somehow being a Renaissance man isn't what it used to be.'

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Figure of Eight

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Square root of chicken is egg.

Time and money on a seesaw are equals.