Pharmaceutical Pioneer Pillows

'Stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated with pharmaceuticals.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Queen of Quinoa

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

AstraZeneca Vaccine vs Sputnik V

Alexander Fleming

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

"I don't know. He just said he had discovered something and we had to come over and see it."

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.