Pharmaceutical Marketer Gifts

'Your disease is so rare, there hasn't even been a TV drug ad for it yet.'

"Instead of wasting time naming all the side effects, can't we just say 'stuff might happen'?"

"People watch too many tv commercials about drugs they don't need!" "I think we have a pill for that..."

"Antacids, antibacterials, antibiotic, antidepressants, antispasmodics...we'd like something positive for a change."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

Recording. You need to talk faster. We only have sixty seconds to record the side effects for this pharmaceutical commercial.

'Now, this placebo is recommened by four out of five doctors.'

"So it looks like we've narrowed it down to these two!"

'Listing all the side effects is so clinical. Let's just say 'But wait. there's more!''

"You want the generic placebo or the brand name?"

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Dressed for Success!

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department