Medical Marketer Gifts

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

Medical Device Co. I need to market our new cardiac diagnostic equipment. Say "The only way to truly know what is in somebody's heart."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Apples for sale

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

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