Pharmaceutical Explorer T-Shirts

'I told you at the start - this drug is still in the experimental stage.'

Lab researcher to partner: 'Eureka! Time released diet pills!'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

Cursing Scientist.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

Frank & Ernest Nucri-Cops. Any luck cracking the conspiracy case? Not yet. There's no DNA evidence to implicate the guilty parties. We couldn't charge the neutron, so we had to let him go. The shyness gene won't talk, and the cholesterol molecule is sticking to his story. The vaccine molecule is our last hope -- he might agree to testify. But first he wants to talk about immunity.

"We're using genetic engineering to modify the molecular structure of a plant's natural cellulose. We convert selected parts of the plant into plastic!"

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.