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Push In And Turn

"That new drug causes flatulence."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

Standup Pharmacist

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

Werewolf prone? Try our MoonBlock.

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

Stool Softener

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

"If this drug doesn't relax your nerves, try chanting its incredibly soothing brand name."

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'