Pharma Follower T-Shirts

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Shares Nosedive

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

The euro as a monster

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

The rise of nano-technologies.

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

"I assure you the drug was tested by several mice before they died."

'Pharmaceutical stocks gave the market a real shot in the arm today...'

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

'Since when have they started advertising placebos on TV?'

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

"Irritable nation syndrome. What do you have for that?"

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

'Lady G., I think you should know ol' Warren B.'s holding period is forever.'

"Take it for excess gas."

Pharmacist to lady: 'I'm juggling your prescriptions as we speak.'

"I forget the name of the product, but the jingle on TV goes something like 'Ya-dee-dum-dee-rah-te-dum-dee-rah-dee-dum.'"

Twitter protection

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."