Pew Protector Pillows

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

No Soliciting

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Don't even think about it."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

"That's just not the real me."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

Orange Bengal Tiger

'I'm a guard dog too.'

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

Save me versus Feed me.

'She thinks of them as her children...'

Fight against theft of endangered species

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?