Pet Welfare Officers Gifts

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Foster failure

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'What's founder?'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'...Do not feed the bears'

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

Dog Igloo.

'Accept it, boss. He makes all the dog-catchers drive him home.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

Harper's new cat

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."

Dog joins another to run after a ball.

'Honest, officer -- I thought they were hippies!'

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

Self-Employment

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

'Who's next?'

"I went through hell to get them adopted."

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

Fight against theft of endangered species

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human