Pet Treat Strategists T-Shirts

Sure, it's nice when Master gives us a bone, but frankly, I would prefer a juicy steak...

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"Works every time."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

"I'm afraid 'doggie bag' is just a figure of speech."

"She's eating in tonight."

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

"Sit!"

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

"We're still working out joint custody."

'Here's my business card.'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"After you've wished once for food, you can stop using your other wishes on food."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Man walks dog using treadmill.

"Ambitions... To get birthday treats every dog year, not every seven."

"I give up! I stock up on chicken treats and now the cat tells me he's gone vegetarian!"

"Listen, Trixie, if we play this right and stick to the plan, we might get free room and board for the rest of our lives."

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

Rover's Cake

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

Dog in pet shop beats the competition by hold a sign saying 'Has Fleas'.

"How much we talking for a deck?"

'I didn't see one deer today. They must have found a great place to hide.'

"Thanks for the walks, tasty treats and rubbing my belly with vigor. I could only love you more if you made my food dish much bigger."

"And just remember: Daddy got you out of that nasty pet store because he hopes you'll act really cute and friendly in the park, especially around attractive, single women."

Dog's Brain.

"He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures."