Pet Shop Humorist Gifts

'...Have you ever once thought about my wants?! It's always about you, Polly! You!'

"Well, Mr Baskerville, the only puppy hound I have left is this little guy right here." A legend is born.

'Aw! Look - someone with a bigger beak than mine...'

Pet shop with 'Romeows' in stock.

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."