Pet Shop Frequenter Gifts

"Wow - a piranha fish!! What do you feed it on...?"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'Bert's dog training.'

"He's already getting attached to you."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

'I'll take him.'

"Lap fish..."

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Phew, that was close."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

State of the Art Dog.

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'You tell me how he does it.'

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

'The dog wants to come home with us, mom!'

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'