Pet Shop Frequenter Gifts

"Wow - a piranha fish!! What do you feed it on...?"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'Bert's dog training.'

"He's already getting attached to you."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Cat Show

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Lap fish..."

'I'll take him.'

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"Phew, that was close."

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

State of the Art Dog.

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'You tell me how he does it.'

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

'The dog wants to come home with us, mom!'

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'