Pet Puffer Pillows

Clown walking his balloon dog.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

Robot walking pet robot

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

Musical Pipe

The Inner Dog.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Grammarian.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"You need a hobby."

Licker Store

Fish Food

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'