Pet Pregnancy Gifts

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Pick me!"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'