Pet Paperwork Puzzler T-Shirts

'Adopt a policy.'

Barks in code.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Good book?'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

Wanted dog! reward!

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

Cookie Thief

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

"Heyyy! Where the hell did you learn that trick?"

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."