Pet Pampering Experts Pillows

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

I guess she had other plans for you.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Why Poodles Become Killers

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dogs can dream too.

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

Pampered Pets.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

The Clipping

'We spoil that dog.'

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

Dog Jogger

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

'Don't you think you're spoiling him...installling an automatic doggie door?'