Pet-owning Colleague Pillows

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Don't even think about it."

Christmas Pets

'Out, damned Spot.'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"Humans are strange."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Chasebook

Separation

Dog Day Afternoon

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Examination.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).