Pet Ownership Humor Pillows

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Cat at Surprise Party.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'No need to shout.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

Dog Jogger

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

When Pugs dream.

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

Parrot annoying dog.