Pet Owner Pride Gifts

'We call him Fungus cuz he grows on you!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Bad dog."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Next!'

It is said over the years dogs and dog owners start looking alike

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'We'll take it!'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Now how did she know?"

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"Mittens, this is what John Muir would call 'a charming little poem of wilderness.'"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

A Provocative image from ancient Egypt which suggests not only that dogs exist, but also that they are graciously willing to accept out primitive Earth foods.

The Upholstery Consultant

"My one regret is not napping more."

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

'We spoil that dog.'

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

"Reminds me of that Claes Oldenburg sculpture we peed on in Chicago."