Pet Inclusionist Gifts

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

The Inner Dog.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Yo, I'm Scrapper the Rapper, shelters are cool, but I'm no fool -- the dream in my head, is to sleep on your bed. Adopt now!"

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"You need a hobby."

"This is Professor Schvrtxvt from Ruritania -- he doesn't speak any English, but he sure is DIVERSE!"

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

Diversity-Challenged

Wildcat Strike.

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

Not a Work Place, A Woke Place.

"Adopt me."

At least your patients can't complain like the medical doctor's do!"

"Since I was making a doggie door, I figured it was only fair to make a door for my bees too!"

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'