Pet Health Detective T-Shirts

"My cat is so quiet. Is he depressed?" "My cat is so loud. Is he sick?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Barks in code.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Now how did she know?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'