Pet Goldfish Philosopher Pillows

"What have you been saying about me to the goldfish?!

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

The Inner Dog.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He never takes me anywhere."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

Fish Food

Snub Marine

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"Are you new around here?"

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

'Ladies... gentlemen... I imagine you're all wondering why you've been invited to this think tank.'