Pet Experimenter Pillows

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Young Frankenstein"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Pick me!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Love Conquers All

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"He's already getting attached to you."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."