Pet Excusers Gifts

Homework eating dogs

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Barks in code.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

"Now how did she know?"

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"