Pet Dog Lover Pillows

Dog Restroom

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Bitchbark Canoe

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Copycats

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

A Good Batch.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Pick me!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

'Ahhh...'