Pet Companion Collector Pillows

'How cozy can you get? I've got a lap dog, a foot cat, and a shoulder bird!'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Canine Companion

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Dog Crossing

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'They sure have small litters.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"Yeah, you were right! The indoor wheel is fun, but running in the park is a lot better..."

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

The Unsportables: Relay

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

Unicorn in the Woods

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'Just think...summer's coming, and everyday will be like Saturday morning!'

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."