Pet Care Captain T-Shirts

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Foster failure"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Dog Walking Services

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's a miniature."

'They sure have small litters.'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

A Change of Scene.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Dog Food

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'Where did the little bird go?'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Horse Clean-up

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

Meals on Wheels/Wheelie Bins

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'