Pest Predicament Ponderer Pillows

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Tell him we just want rid of the rabbits, we don't need a puppet show thank you very much.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Bees v Wasps

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

The Human Condition

Zika Epidemic

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Bumper Limos

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Desert crawler following water

Look at all the pretty flowers....Neonicotinoids.

'it's either mass hysteria, or a very effective advertising campaign.'

"We have raccoons."

Selective pesticide - to kill only ugly insects (and not butterflies and ladybirds).

"Well, I admire your resilience."

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

Mountains and Molehills

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

'Hello, is that Ace Exterminators?'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

Career choices for fleas.

'If moths like light so much why do you never see them during the day?'

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'