Personnel Officers Pillows

"HR have asked for figures demonstrating our commitment to diversity."

'What's your threshold of pain when it comes to salary and benefits?'

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

America, are we learning anything?

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Servicemen.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"War is hell and so is this soup."