Personality Makeover Fan Pillows

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Congratulations on the new you!

My Spam Sketchbook

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

'I liked the Pompidou Center too, Melvin, but I'm not obsessed with it.'

"I can be changed!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"You might consider new socks as well."

The Three Wise Women

Demand for reclaimed barn wood causes wave of new barn construction.

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

couple replacing lightbulb in chandelier.

"And this one has a butt recognition feature. Only you will be able to sit in it."

'Know what this place needs? - a telly makeover!'

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

Cosmetic dental surgery.

"Anything worth doing is worth hiring someone to do it well."

Three Piece Furniture Distressing Kit

'Now watch me wash out all these nasty stripes!'

Young Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen: 'Terracotta and turmeric and fuchsia and jade ... I can sing a rainbow'.

'She ate the apple? That does it! -- the whole place is going condo!'

"I'm aiming for boyish charm, but I don't want to appear vulnerable."