Personal Reinvention Gifts

"Their rut looks like a more fun than our rut."

'Reinventing myself.'

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

How Gary got his groove back.

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

"I'm not a mad scientist - I'm just a disappointed scientist."

Nice custom job, Bill!

'I only do biometric readings now.'

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

Trust Me, Power Works!

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

That lawn maintenance gizmo is advertised to have 101 uses. Leave it to Fred to find 102.

Interpretive Cheering

'Instead of 'shortening', shouldn't that oil be called 'fattening'?'

'I'm retired and decided to have a fresh start.'

'It's a heavy-duty line clipper.I made it myself.'

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

Chemoco International

'Eureka! -- I've developed a cheap, reliable, male contraceptive!'

'I'm not only a MEMBER of CAT-NOGGINS...I'm also the FOUNDER..'

The birth of ergonometics.

'I don't have to get up early anymore: I have my own worm-farm...'

"But hey, all my new friends call me Denise now...it's my middle name."

'You said one day you would be filthy rich. You're only half way there!'

'I love being my own boss, I don't have to work my way to the top!'

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."