Personal Reflection Gifts

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

'The computer goes strictly by your written requirements. Congratulations, you've just been matched with yourself!'

Big frog in a small pond: 'Now if I could only find true love...'

37 years in the same position.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Cellphone Islands

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

That party went well.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"The overthinker"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Is this who I am?"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'