Personal Finances Pillows

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

"These clippings are very interesting, but you're confusing being newsworthy with being credit-worthy."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Watering Money

Will work for ETFs

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Graph Your Relatives!