Personal Finances Gifts

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

"These clippings are very interesting, but you're confusing being newsworthy with being credit-worthy."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Watering Money

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Will work for ETFs

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'