Personal Finance Gifts

A two dollar stock sounds like a perfect investment...

'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

'I'm just saying, if our income is 'fixed', how come we're 'broke'?'

'There's nothing wrong with entering magazine sweepstakes - but have you folks considered any other retirement plans?'

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

'Apparently, just because we took out a mortgage, the bank now expects us to make some sort of monthly payment.'

Your Pizza Dollar

'Credit is a wonderful gimmick that lets you start at the bottom and dig yourself into a hole.'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"4 out of 5 doctors recommend you ask your financial planner if this drug is right for you."

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

"Oh, Honey - our first bankruptcy!"

'I miss the disposable income days.'

'We are spending entirely too much on bills.'

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"How would you like to dabble in some very high quality junk bonds?"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Jones, how about a moratorium on keeping up? Our budget is a bit tight this year.'

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'We were just keeping up with the Joneses. How was I supposed to know the Joneses were keeping up with the Rockefellers?'

'By tonight we'll finally be in the black. We don't have enough to pay the electric bill.'

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Walking a fine line of debt.

"We can pay off our mortgage, educate our kids, or retire at 65 - pick any two."

"Your sole use of credit has been to purchase Chinese takeout food. That's why you can't get a mortgage."

Piggy bank at starting blocks.

'When you're a kid, you keep score with report cards. When you grow up, it's credit scores.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I'm sending in my quarterly estimated tax payment, but I'm not signing the check. If I have to guess how much I made, let the IRS guess who made it.'

'Let's not rush into this investment thing too quickly, Maude. Remember, I've still got 6 payments left on your engagement ring.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.