Home Finances Pillows

They're back. We've gone from being empty nesters to being empty bank accounters!

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Watering Money

Will work for ETFs

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Frank, you had to get a second job? I should have read the fine print on that investment that guaranteed I'd "clean up"!

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Student Debt

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."