Financial Planning Pillows

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

"There's always an element of risk. No one has a crystal ball. OK, I have one, but no one knows how it works."

'...the new investing regulations...'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Your portfolio looks fine. It's your dreams we need to talk about.

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

'Why bother to budget? So we can worry before we spend money, as well as afterwards.'

'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'

'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'

'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'You need a better long-term strategy than winning powerball.'

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'If you're alive this time next week, you'll be living beyond your means.'

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

"You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet."

We thought we'd put in the details later!

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

Ask About our Free Investment Advice: 'The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed investment advice for a fee.'

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

'As long as he continues to come up with brilliant investment strategies we leave him alone...'

'You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet.'

'Beg.'

'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'

"It is unwise to have ones assets evenly divided among stocks, bonds and lottery tickets."

'I keep having this nightmare that we don't spend the money in time and the kids inherit it all.'

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

Debt Councellor: 'You'll have to declare yourself a Private Equity Company.'

'It was hard enough making ends meet when it was just the two of us. Now we have a baby and suddenly there's four more stomachs to feed.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid we've had the results back and it's bad news...he could live to be a hundred.'

Past Performance in No Guarantee of Future Results.