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"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Haircuts

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

The Brothers Grime

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Dating is so expensive...

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

Some scents are nonsense.

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Love conquers all, except plaque.

New Twenty Blades

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Shaving

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

His & Hers towels for Electrical Plugs and Sockets.

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."