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"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Haircuts

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The Brothers Grime

Dating is so expensive...

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

Some scents are nonsense.

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Love conquers all, except plaque.

Shaving

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

New Twenty Blades

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

His & Hers towels for Electrical Plugs and Sockets.

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.