Personal Brand Guru Pillows

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Target your customer.

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Final words on gravestones.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Your ad here!

A close shave on the Titanic...

Always expect the best

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

"Our branding lacks that certain sense of timeless gravitas. Can we have it iconosized?"

"Charles has offered his personal image for us to project as our corporate image."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'