Personal Brand Guru Pillows

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Target your customer.

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

Final words on gravestones.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Your ad here!

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

A close shave on the Titanic...

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Always expect the best

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Our branding lacks that certain sense of timeless gravitas. Can we have it iconosized?"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

"Charles has offered his personal image for us to project as our corporate image."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''