Perpetual Sleeper Pillows

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Night-time halo

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"C'mon, I can't be expected to Carpe EVERY Diem."

Waking the Dead.

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

The Home Birth of Venus

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

"No! I don't think these are adjustable beds. Why?"

"Christ! How much further is it to the next rest stop!?!"

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Sleep-Eez Bedding

I set the alarm for March, but I've been staring at the ceiling since mid-February.

"It's the same thing every Monday morning. Trust me. . . he'll rise to the occasion."

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

When you get worried and you can't sleep. . .

'Ok..Up we get..It's time to make up your bed!'

'Well, that's it - you can wake up now, it's time for bed!'

Turning off the idea light.

'Arnold belongs to the species that hibernate in the summertime.'

A bee keeper trying to sleep counts bees jumping over a fence.

Angel plumps up cloud.

Sharing the bed - or not.

'Please RSVP.'

'I slept like a baby. I dreamt I took melatonin.'