Permit Pursuer Pillows

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Upward Progress

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

The March to the Top

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'I need both hands for steering.'

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'Just a minute Simkins, I have that letter of application for promotion here somewhere...'

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

woman works at a desk with a sign on the wall behind her: Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly Hey You.

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

'I didn't get the raise... but I don't have to laugh at his jokes anymore.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

"You call that high, Mr Raskin?"

CEO Incentives

"If you're going to ask for a raise, I suggest buttering him up with a catnip toy first."

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"I wonder if I'd still have a paper route if I hadn't been born in the land of opportunity?"

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."